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I associate false pride with an overly developed sense of entitlement which overrides our sense of what is proper behavior. I see a connection to D&C 95:5-6, “5. But behold, verily I say unto you, that there are many who have been ordained among you, whom I have called but few of them are chosen. 6. They who are not chosen have sinned a very grievous sin, in that they are walking in darkness at noon-day.”

False pride can invite darkness into the most enlightened mind. Persecution can stir up negative feelings, one of which might be a sense of entitlement. The early members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints certainly had good cause to feel persecuted and entitled. I have seen false pride and feelings of entitlement in the church, and I have been mistreated by those who felt entitled to do so.

After being active in the church for about twenty years I found myself to be a victim of mistreatment by members who were afflicted with racism and/or a longing for polygamy. I gave both groups reasons to resent me. The influence of racism and polygamy in the church motivated me to examine our history more extensively than previously. I left the church because of what I discovered in the scriptures, our commentaries, and our histories including the Journal of Discourses. Because I had a strong testimony of the restoration of the gospel I joined the Reorganized Church rather than some other church not associated with the restoration of the gospel. I left them after a couple of years. After leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for twenty five years I came back and received a warm welcome from my fellow members of the church until I bore my testimony, then a few of them turned on me. The testimony which caused me trouble was the one I bore to the First Presidency of the church when I requested the restoration of my blessings. I told them that “My testimony no longer requires me to believe that all of our leaders have been true to their callings, nor does it require me to consider the Pearl of Great Price completely credible”. The First Presidency did not criticize my testimony, but some local members did not agree with them.

At a recent October Conference just three years or so ago, President Ochtdorf indicated that we tend to think that those who leave the church do so because of serious sin or hurt feelings. In explaining that it was not that simple he stated that sometimes members and leaders make mistakes. Soon after repeating my testimony at an adult seminary class and a Ward Fast and Testimony Meeting I was facing opposition from several of my brethren. One of them eventually told me that my testimony was not appropriate. In the meantime he told the High Priest’s group that people who leave the church do so because their feelings have been hurt and they cannot forgive. Another time he said it was because they are guilty of serious sin. He also thought it important for the group to know that he felt my letters to the editor of the local newspaper were too confrontational.

The first time I confronted him, he denied the events. I told him that I was not going to argue about what he said or what he meant. This made him happy and we got along fine for awhile. Several years later when he started saying things which I thought might be aimed at making me look bad I once more confronted him about the things he previously denied . This time he said that he was sorry my feelings had been hurt, then proceeded to recite a list of a lot of his wonderful accomplishments as if to suggest that it was silly of me to think that such a wonderful guy would have said anything he needed to apologize for. I told him I wanted a public apology. There were several more petty, and hurtful incidents involving other members, but the ones which concern me most are the ones listed above for which I tried to obtain public apologies, but no public apology has been forthcoming. It’s only right that offences committed in public be confessed in public. For the sake of his soul he should do it.

I feel sorry for that High Priest who cannot apologize in public. I am embarrassed for our general authorities who have covered up past heresies of Brigham Young and others. The letter accompanying the revelation announcing the availability of the priesthood to men of all races insists that the revelation is in keeping with the promises of our past presidents and prophets. In order to maintain the lie a letter on the church website explaining the subject more fully quotes a speech made by Brigham Young before the Territorial Legislature which makes no mention of when the blacks would be eligible for the priesthood. For over one hundred years we have been treated to Brigham Young’s explanations which come from general conferences. His several explanations insist that blacks would not get the priesthood during their mortality, and they would not obtain the priesthood until all the other sons of Adam had the opportunity. And now we are to believe that speeches before the Territorial Legislature have more relevance than general conference instructions. The Children of Israel were told that they would not have their good standing before God restored until they confessed their sins and the sins of their fathers. But, you dare to cover up Brigham Young’s heresies. Your examples of false pride are a stumbling block and an embarrassment. I will not hold up my hand to vote against you because I am too aware of my own shortcomings, but your lack of integrity is embarrassing me and hurting my missionary spirit.

Now you ask us to believe that the Savior atoned for our sicknesses, and mental and physical stresses. Are sicknesses, mental and physical stresses things we need to repent of? If so then the Savior was not sinless and therefore not eligible to atone for our sins. If we are not required to repent of our sicknesses and mental and physical stresses then why should the Savior atone for them? The early Latter-Day Saints looked beyond the mark, despised the words of plainness and sought for things they could not understand. How am I supposed to trust leaders who are so full of false pride that they cannot admit that the church was promoting false doctrine for many decades? President David O. McKay tried for twenty years to obtain the revelation instructing him to ordain blacks because he believed it was only a practice which would change and not a doctrine.. One of his counselors told him that the revelation was not forthcoming because the members were not ready for it. Perhaps the members are not ready to find out how much false pride and how little integrity some of our  local leaders and general authorities have today. Or, perhaps we are all walking in such pitch black darkness that the Lord will burn most of us up to make room for the scattered tribes when they come to build the New Jerusalem.