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MY CHANGING TESTIMONY
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When I informed my Southern Baptist minister that I was considering joining the L.D.S. Church he gave me some anti Mormon literature. When I told my Mormon friends about the negative information he had given me they assured me that the Church was perfect, but they acknowledged that the members were not. As someone who was well acquainted with the Bible, I knew their assurance was oversimplified for the Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 11:19 “For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you.” Furthermore, the Lord said through Ezekiel in chapter 20:24-25 “ 24) Because they had not executed my judgments, but had despised my statutes, and had polluted my Sabbaths, and their eyes were after their father’s idols. 25) Wherefore I gave them also statutes that were not good, and judgments whereby they should not live;”. Jesus in Matthew 5:31-48 gave some examples of those things which were found in the Law of Moses.
It would be many years before I purchased the Journal of Discourses and discovered how much false doctrine Brigham Young taught. I studied every conference talk given by Brigham Young and took notes so you cannot fool me about his heretical views on Blood Atonement, the Adam/God Theory, Blacks and the priesthood, the offspring of the Savior’s wives being the seed He should see.
For a time I followed the examples of my L.D.S. friends and taught Brigham Young’s false teachings on withholding the priesthood from blacks of African descent. In spite of the Book of Mormon teaching that desiring and having more than one wife was evil I taught that we believe in the principle of polygamy, but we don’t practice it. After I had been married for a couple of years the Lord made it clear to me that the book of Mormon was right in it’s condemnation of polygamy. Eventually in the early 1970s I was struck by the Book of Mormon teaching that all are alike unto God in 2nd Nephi 26:33 and teachings in the New Testament and the Book of Mormon that the gospel was for all nations. Even in the Old Testament, Isaiah, in the first seven or eight verses of chapter 56 saw a time when the Lord’s house would be a house of prayer for all people. It was disappointing to know that the Pearl of Great Price was responsible for our failure to believe the Book of Mormon on such an important topic as blacks of African descent and the priesthood.
Reading in the Book of Mormon it was instructive to discover that the Lord would give his people judgments by which they should not live for reasons less serious than idol worship. There are a couple of passages I refer to as the curses in the Book of Mormon. In Jacob 4:14 the Lord reveals that his people got in trouble by merely looking beyond the mark, for looking beyond the mark resulted in despising the words of plainness and desiring things which they could not understand. In 3rd Nephi 26 the Lord said that when the Book of Mormon came forth we would be tested to see if we believed it before we would be allowed to have the rest of the gold plates translated. If we did not believe the Book of Mormon the rest of the plates would be withheld to our condemnation. Our racist beliefs and desire for polygamy was evidence that we despised the words of plainness in the Book of Mormon.
Our condemnation was our loss of the opportunity to start building the New Jerusalem. Instead we were driven out of the Center Place and required to live a lesser law, the law of tithing, instead of the law of the Celestial Kingdom. Abraham paid tithes to Melchizedek while Melchizedek was preparing a wicked people to become sanctified so that they could follow him to the Zion of Enoch. Abraham’s priesthood will be operative in these latter-days according to prophesy. We are living the law of a people looking for future blessings as was Abraham with the Patriarchal Priesthood. The Patriarchal Priesthood was passed down from the Fathers. It was as much priesthood as could be passed from father to son. To have more, God himself must lay hands upon you as He did with Enoch, Moses, Melchizedek, Elijah and others who were taken to heaven without tasting death. That list would surly include some leaders found in the Book of Mormon. Such men were sometimes, if not always, heads of a dispensation. Oliver Cowdery told the newly ordained quorum of twelve apostles that their ordinations were not complete until God himself had laid hands on them.
We are living in a time when many are full of false pride and harbor delusions of grandeur thinking that the Patriarchal Order of the Priesthood is superior to the Melchizedek Priesthood while they look forward to being taken to some far corner of the universe with a large harem of wives. Joseph Smith made it clear on pages 554 and 555 of the fifth volume of the Joseph Smith History of the Church that the Melchizedek Priesthood is superior to the :Patriarchal Order. They believe that all is well in Zion and are not ready to confess their sins and the sins of our fathers. The Israelites were told that they would have to confess their sins and the sins of their fathers before the Lord would redeems them.
After being rebaptized and active in the Church for a year I was invited to apply for the restoration of my blessings. Because I had a strong testimony of the restoration of the gospel through Joseph Smith, discovering the many false doctrines taught by Brigham Young did not cause me to leave the church forever. Seeing how much influence that racists and polygamists had in the church in the 1970s did play a part in my leaving the church for 25 years. However, my testimony did change. When I wrote my letter to the First Presidency requesting that my blessings be restored I acknowledged that change by telling them, “My testimony no longer requires me to believe that all of our leaders have been true to their callings, nor does it require me to consider the Pearl of Great Price to be completely credible.” Neither the First Presidency nor the Seventy who restored my blessings said that my testimony was not appropriate. However, some local members did say so.
I think that the willingness of the First Presidency to refrain from rejecting my testimony means that the First Presidency understands that when it comes to questions of polygamy and the eligibility of blacks to hold the priesthood, the Pearl of Great Price does not supercede the Book of Mormon. Apparently some of our local High Priests don’t agree. I don’t know if all of our general authorities are in agreement on that, and I wonder what it will take to get our general authorities to take stands against polygamy and racism which don’t sound like “All is well in Zion and always has been”.
In 1980 President Mark E. Peterson gave a talk on Adam or Michael. In this talk he completely refuted Brigham Young’s Adam/God theory, but without mentioning the theory. He thought it proper not to mention who promoted the Adam/God theory. So why do I dare to proclaim it? Because discovering that past leaders had lied about Brigham Young’s false teachings resulted in my going through 25 years of hell when I discovered the truth and left the Church. I believe we would be better off facing our failures and placing them in proper perspective rather than lying about them and leaving those who discover the truth to also be disappointed in our current leaders. Then those who hold up their hands against our general authorities at conference time could be reminded of that which God told Samuel, in 1st Samuel 8, when the Elders of Israel confronted him about the corrupt behavior of his sons and asked for a king to replace him (Samuel). God said to Samuel, “They have not rejected thee, bit they have rejected me”.
What will Latter-Day Saints who have strong testimonies do when they discover that they have been mislead about Brigham Young’s heresy? Some may leave the church. Some may discover the proper perspective for that heresy. Others may come to believe that the heresy is not really heresy, but is part of the secret gospel true believers must learn to keep to themselves. Our general authorities need to decide for themselves, are we the true Church of Jesus Christ or are we a cult? Long term local leaders and general authorities may decide that they have too much invested in the church and too much hope for large harems in the Celestial Kingdom to leave or speak out. I feel sorry for them. The church has two natures, that which is real and eternal, and the cult nature desired by many. I left the church when I discovered the cult and came back when I understood its purpose.